Brad Sergeant Wuhn-Upper - Funny One Upper Veteran Tee
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Brad Sergeant Wuhn-Upper - Funny One Upper Veteran Tee
You mention the twelve-mile ruck. Brad did fourteen, on a rolled ankle, and the sand was hotter his year. You bring up the deployment. Brad had two, back to back, at a FOB with no chow hall. You got a challenge coin. Brad got his from a general he still cannot name at a barbecue. Nobody near Brad has finished a story since 2009. The veteran wearing this does not argue. He lets Brad finish, nods once, and deals him the ace. Brad says he has held higher.
THE DEBRIEF
Five spades, ten through ace, fanned on worn cream stock. In the ace's big spade: a grinning skeleton in dark sunglasses with slicked-back hair, champagne flute raised, a sweater knotted over his polo, one hand on his hip. "BRAD" SERGEANT WUHN-UPPER beneath him. I DON'T HOLD GRUDGES across the top, I MAINTAIN A TARGET DECK across the bottom.
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QUESTIONS FROM THE BACK
What is a one upper?
Someone who answers every story with a bigger one: you had a long week, they had a longer one with worse coffee. The wearer stopped competing years ago. Brad has been filed as the ace since his ruck story got longer than the ruck.
How to respond to a one upper?
Keep it short, ask nothing that invites a sequel, and change the subject while they reload. The wearer added one step: he said 'good story, Brad' and moved Brad's card to the top of the deck.
Why do people hold grudges for so long?
Mostly because replaying a slight feels like staying ready: while it is fresh, nobody gets you twice. The wearer does not replay anything. He wrote Brad down once, and the card has outranked the other fifty-one since the reunion.